Whatever I want to do, how I want to do it, be it business or studies or family matters, it's all in my head, from the planning, execution, expected deliverables, all the way to the expected revenues, how to get it, and all the plan B's and C's etc.
With all that in my head, it really requires me to block off "intruders" that may come from other people's nagging, instructions and orders (gosh I get loads of that), etc., what more if the "intruders" expect me to be financially involved... that would definitely ruin all the equations and relationships between all the different entities I've already made in my head.
So I block them off. Aiiyark!!
I do have priorities.. and they change as I see fit..
Balqish is going to be 2 years old this coming Ogos.. that sure brings out a smile in me.. syukur and proud of what she can do so far at her age.
Balqishis realizing that much of the time has been more on us blaming her for Zharif's crying etc that she occasionally seeks affection from both of us. She would sleep while holding my arm and sometimes would put her head on her ayah's tight while laying on the small toto watching tv... that brings out a smile in me as well...
I have so much respect and love in Balqish for tolerating Zharif & us blaming her on many occasions.... I occasionally "test"her to see if whatever I did to her was harsh or not.. if I could bring out a smile in her, then it's all okay...